In a snap-happy speed-camera cop paradise
‘Just Married’ motorists are caught with confetti and rice
as, pulling over to the side of the road,
The tug-of-war team coach breaks down and is towed.

Meanwhile, But I was just about to excuse-makers
become traffic-warden fined For fuck sakers
with Inland Revenue tax-dodgers on double yellow lines
and Monopoly military vehicles landing on land mines.

So, as extremely sensitive and vulnerable artists
write off their Rolls Royces in psychedelic fashion
Zebra-crossing senior citizens wave their fists
at the boy-racer no-respect generation.

Meantime, as taxi-drivers hit the disco streets
Hailers chuck it down, and up, in the back of their seats.
When, on an icy cold morning, the car won’t start
country folk take their horse and cart.